I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
