Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
