i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
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DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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