So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
