she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
