none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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