he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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