this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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