in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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