The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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