All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
