Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
