god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
