tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
