we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
