My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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