Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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(650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/l4fs

Replies (46) Good night (9506) Bad night (2087)
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(831): View more from California

It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

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(831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp

Replies (13) Good night (6292) Bad night (1589)
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(845): View more from New York

im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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(845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs

Replies (12) Good night (1275) Bad night (2865)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.

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(504): ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town. http://tfl.nu/omo7

Replies (14) Good night (6369) Bad night (1008)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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(413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu

Replies (6) Good night (3432) Bad night (676)
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(360): View more from Washington

When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.

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(360): When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers. http://tfl.nu/l0o6

Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (2542)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

(512): View more from Texas

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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(508): I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur. (512): That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot? http://tfl.nu/yofn

Replies (10) Good night (2906) Bad night (699)
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(850): View more from Florida

If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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(850): If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through. http://tfl.nu/odn6

Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (640)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.

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(563): I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word. http://tfl.nu/iv5v

Replies (9) Good night (956) Bad night (1006)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

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(580): Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out http://tfl.nu/fusv

Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (1151)
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(925): View more from California

I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.

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(925): I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you. http://tfl.nu/spyc

Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (369)
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(914): View more from New York

DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD

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(914): DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD http://tfl.nu/a868

Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (334)
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(281): View more from Texas

There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.

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(281): There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/kh9k

Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (293)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.

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(215): Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit. http://tfl.nu/8h56

Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (730)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight

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(802): I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/4k57

Replies (1) Good night (706) Bad night (459)

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