what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
