Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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  (773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3
  Replies (20) Good night (646) Bad night (1922)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline

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  (303): That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline http://tfl.nu/qmbu
  Replies (6) Good night (2253) Bad night (887)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

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  (703): never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly http://tfl.nu/n7qz
  Replies (56) Good night (4010) Bad night (851)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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  (617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r
  Replies (20) Good night (599) Bad night (3722)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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  (630): I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else http://tfl.nu/09lv
  Replies (13) Good night (4208) Bad night (767)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

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  (484): Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen? http://tfl.nu/hkbt
  Replies (5) Good night (2742) Bad night (979)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6242) Bad night (1314)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

  (925): View more from California

  I hate that you know that from experience

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  (206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh
  Replies (11) Good night (1282) Bad night (2328)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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  (609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut. (941): it was a krispy kreme http://tfl.nu/o743
  Replies (15) Good night (5053) Bad night (1193)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

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  (775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2
  Replies (8) Good night (1773) Bad night (749)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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  (706): I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit http://tfl.nu/wzhs
  Replies (4) Good night (1824) Bad night (433)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"

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  (616): i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!" http://tfl.nu/67ol
  Replies (7) Good night (436) Bad night (789)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?

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  (815): Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure? http://tfl.nu/5vd2
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (489)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills

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  (802): New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills http://tfl.nu/1x0y
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (347)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

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  (770): She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower http://tfl.nu/znp7
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (233)

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