I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
