Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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(301): Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere http://tfl.nu/ptau

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(301): View more from Maryland

saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.

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(301): saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark. http://tfl.nu/xqm1

Replies (8) Good night (705) Bad night (4441)
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(256): View more from Alabama

made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold

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(256): made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold http://tfl.nu/0w5z

Replies (81) Good night (5348) Bad night (1714)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Wow. Its not even 11am.

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(973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd

Replies (3) Good night (3204) Bad night (1196)
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(713): View more from Texas

Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

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(713): Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go. http://tfl.nu/z9ow

Replies (10) Good night (3643) Bad night (1067)
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(360): View more from Washington

if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked

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(360): if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked http://tfl.nu/kcmn

Replies (24) Good night (5378) Bad night (2175)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

(856): View more from New Jersey

Lmao sorry

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(609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80

Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (807)
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(205): View more from Alabama

It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.

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(205): It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time. http://tfl.nu/qk61

Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (502)
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(443): View more from Maryland

6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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(443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg

Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (393)
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(772): View more from Florida

I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

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(772): I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix. http://tfl.nu/g0qx

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (762)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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(787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v

Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (362)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good

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(570): As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good http://tfl.nu/3egx

Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (278)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend

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(715): The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend http://tfl.nu/mjw0

Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (353)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.

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(304): I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/6kh1

Replies (0) Good night (293) Bad night (441)
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(416): View more from Toronto

There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really

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(416): There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really http://tfl.nu/ol9m

Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (122)

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