it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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