You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
