Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
