I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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