I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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