Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
