Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
