Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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