Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
