i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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