my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
