i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my poor anus
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
