she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize