a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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