Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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