I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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