so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's blow job season.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
