She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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