Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
