i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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