so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
