Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
