haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you traded sex for a burrito?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
