Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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