He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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