i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
