There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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