so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
