who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize