I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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