You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
