Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
