My friends, they love my intelligence
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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