They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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