I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my being single is dangerous.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
