I can't watch pbs sober anymore
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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