Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Shitshow foam night was such a success
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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