Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize