Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
