he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm sobbing to NWA
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