Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
false alarm, still single
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
