What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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