I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
