I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..