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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

  Fav 33 1157 6082

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.

  Fav 9 5176 1182

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.

  Fav 3 1212 2473

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

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• (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro

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• (941): View more from Florida

  He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.

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