I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old