Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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  (412): Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline? http://tfl.nu/g8m6
  Replies (45) Good night (1640) Bad night (645)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

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  (912): He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter. http://tfl.nu/k17d
  Replies (14) Good night (744) Bad night (2137)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.

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  (616): it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ij8w
  Replies (15) Good night (892) Bad night (4497)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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  (540): I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen. http://tfl.nu/c2d0
  Replies (14) Good night (5576) Bad night (1002)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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  (781): today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby. http://tfl.nu/f0c2
  Replies (96) Good night (17020) Bad night (1526)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.

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  (610): I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting. http://tfl.nu/w8rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1413) Bad night (7098)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3443) Bad night (1318)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?

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  (815): Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer? http://tfl.nu/917w
  Replies (11) Good night (3633) Bad night (1957)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.

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  (267): The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them. http://tfl.nu/ubes
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (1228)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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  (509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n
  Replies (5) Good night (1791) Bad night (579)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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  (402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx
  Replies (19) Good night (2946) Bad night (800)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

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  (617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1905) Bad night (521)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.

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  (417): He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/zieg
  Replies (10) Good night (1168) Bad night (468)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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  (902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (363)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF

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  (207): It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF http://tfl.nu/i5py
  Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (459)

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