new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
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i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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