i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
