I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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