Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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