There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
