I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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