The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
