May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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