I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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