Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
