Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
