I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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