Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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