so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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